Do you like your own company?
We’ve just had two years where many of us have been alone for large periods of time – so today I thought we could talk about solitude.
I think these days we tend to equate being alone with being lonely – but there is another word that could be used: Aloneness
When we’re lonely we might feel sad or wish for the company of others. It’s quite a negative state where we might also feel a sense of isolation.
A feeling of aloneness is when we are alone without being lonely.
Now of course, after two years we’re all probably eager to be able to socialise again – but there is a lot to be gained from learning to be ok in our own company.
And perhaps even to enjoy that sense of aloneness or solitude.
This reminds me of a great quote from George Bernard Shaw. He was at one of those awful cocktail parties where nothing is said.
Someone asked him if he was enjoying himself and he answered, “It’s the only thing I am enjoying here.”
If you can learn to be happy in your solitude, you’re not reliant on other people to make you feel good – and that is incredibly valuable.
You might think that this is easier for an introvert than an extrovert, and you would be right:
An introvert instinctively spends more time alone because this is how they recharge their batteries.
An extrovert on the other hand usually needs to be around other people to feel recharged.
But it is possible to learn to enjoy your own company.
Personally, I am more of an extrovert. But, however much I enjoy being around people, I also love to be totally on my own.
Aloneness – Enjoying the peace and solitude of one’s own company…
A great place to start is to take up the sorts of hobbies you can do on your own; reading, walking, sitting on the beach and so on.
This can help you to get to a place where you feel comfortable with your aloneness and perhaps even enjoy and look forward to that time on your own.
Over time you can learn to enjoy time alone, and to become someone who experiences the joy of aloneness.
What do you think?
How would you spend time alone with your own company?