In typical British summer style… it’s been raining for days!
But never mind; this email is all about making sure we all have a little bit of mental sunshine to get us through those grey days!
This week’s email follows on from a previous email about values.
We’re going to dig a little deeper and look at authenticity.
Here’s a good quote to explain what I mean:
We derive our attitudes from how we behave, and figure out who we are by watching what we do. Therefore, when we act in a way that’s inconsistent with our current attitudes and beliefs regardless of why, we will generally adjust the subjective to match the objective, not the other way around. In other words, we’ll adjust our mental models to make sense of our behaviours, even if they’re deceptive, disgraceful or downright dreadful. – Michael Matthews
What does this mean in day-to-day life?
Imagine being a strict vegan because you feel strongly about animal rights and welfare, but your day job is in a butcher’s shop.
Your actions are not matching your beliefs.
Pretty soon, your view of yourself is going to be pretty low –
Because day after day you’re watching yourself do something that goes against your beliefs.
Now, I don’t know many vegans who work in butcher’s shops – but the idea is the same for all of us.
And not only with work – with every area of our lives.
If you’re saying and doing things that go against who you feel you are deep down… pretty soon, your view of who you are will change to match your words and actions.
So what can you do about it?
This is another of those times it’s helpful to take a beat before speaking or acting.
A quick moment to think, is this who I really am?
If someone is rude to me in a shop, it can be tempting to be rude back, perhaps even to raise my voice or make a sarcastic comment.
But is that who I am or who I want to be?
No
Definitely not.
My view of myself is that I’m a kind, friendly, approachable person.
I want to be authentically myself 100% of the time.
I strive then to always take a breath and weigh up my potential words and actions with who I really am… do they match or not?
Are you being authentic to your true self?